I never considered myself stingy before. I always gave pretty freely of possessions or whatever trinkets I thought a person would enjoy, and it's just now dawning on me that adage: money can't buy happiness. I still withheld something very important from people who deserved it: I kept my love hostage.
I thought that if I loved fewer people, that I would be less hurt. I didn't anticipate that it would mean that I would be less whole. As I sit sad about leaving my 41 consistent students (and dozens of others whose lives I've touched in the past), I realize that I've made room for each and every one of them in my heart. I've poured blood, sweat, and many many tears into their lives, trying to make them the best little English speakers in the city.
Was I successful? Not by a long shot, but they've all improved. And my heart really hurts at the thought of leaving them behind--especially Aidan--but I know more of what I'm capable of, now, and that no matter how far away I may move, there's room for all of the people I want to love in my heart, and that it won't crumple from pain when I'm separated from them.
The Faith Project - Trust in Thee
1 week ago