Yesterday I was observed for the second time. It didn't go so well. There I was, sitting, giving a test when I had the test taken away from me and done for me. It was done in a professional, business-like manner, but I've felt awful since it happened. I wasn't the best student; I was smart, and I knew it, so I only put forth as much effort as I needed to get a 90.0% so I could have my A and eat it, too. At the time I was in school, I lied to myself (and everyone else) saying it was the best I could do, but now that I'm in the teacher's shoes, I'm a little disgusted with myself.
Anyway, moving on, here I am in Korea, trying at least 95% (better!!), and well... only getting an 80%. Barely a B-. It makes me wonder, what can I do better?
Today I found out that it wasn't so much my inability but that I looked like I was going to pass out. I kind of felt like death warmed over, so in honesty I appreciate Sunny taking over and being energetic for me; I just feel like a failure.
This morning was pretty interesting as we went on a kindergarten field trip. We picked chestnuts, played in the cooler weather, and had a delicious picnic lunch. And I do mean delicious. We had fresh fruit, kimbap, sandwiches, and other stuff I can't spell/pronounce/remember. Having a real meal and 12 hours of sleep helped the afternoon significantly.
I don't know about the other girls, but I'm going to take this weekend easy (e.g. no dancing until 8). So far I have planned my first ever pedicure with Yuria and a trip to see a show and grab some dinner with Min (and some other foreigners). Should be interesting.
Mostly what I want to do, though, is clean my stupid apartment that I keep messing up and write some letters. I still have my chuseok postcards, for pete's sake! It's time to get everything sent out.
Thanks for all the comments on my posts--it helps me keep that lovin' feeling. And the mascara comes in a yellow tube, and it has something to do with colossal and has collagen in it. Take care!
3 comments:
Balance. You're never as good, OR as bad as you think you are :) Mom
It's great to know that the school has resources to support you, and good to be part of a team. And if you contracted strep throat, odds are you will be able to return the favor soon.
Today in Colorado is no picnic. It's foggy, which is a surprise when you consider all the political hot air blowing around.
Love Dad
Keep your head up! I never had any sort of support when I was teaching and I am sure that is why I left the profession for a while. It is sooo hard when someone (expecially a supervisor) takes over for you and makes you feel crappy...but it is sooo great to HAVE SUPPORT! You didn't hear it from me, but there may be a package coming your way-- it will be mailed Monday! :) ;)
STOP, take a deep breath and let this go. Teaching is the hardest job in the world and you simply cna not do it alone. You have been pushing yourself so hard and it was bound ot catch up with you. You need a nice relaxing weekend and come Monday you will be back in rare form I am sure. Remember what goes around comes around, Someday Sunny will be struggling and you will step up to the plate for her. And when that happens you will realize the only one doubting your abilities is you. You will see a colleague in need of a helping hand that you are happy to extend, not someone who is incompetent, and you will realize that she saw it the same way.
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