Tuesday, October 21, 2008

When Girls Drink too Much

You have probably seen the e-mail about what happens when girls drink too much. For those who are maybe beyond the "stay up until 8 a.m." stage of life, here is the e-mail and perhaps a few entertaining stories.

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is. For those who may have forgotten, my wallet was lost for a 24-hour period, and I was frantically checking wellsfargo.com every few hours to see what my pervert taxi driver was buying. Fortunately, it was just at one of my coworker's homes.

2. We believe that dancing with our arms over ours heads and wiggling our butts while yelling "WOO HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around. This is literally what one of my Canadian friends was doing at approximately 4:32 at Club MK. After a few minutes, I looked up around and saw that we had a crowd of 25-30 Koreans watching, and none of them were really... smiling. But to be honest, we don't know them, they probably don't speak English, and we were having fun. :)

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's butt and honestly believe we could do it. I wish I had a picture of one of my favorite blonds flipping off an entire room of Koreans, yelling because they were too put-off by the aforementioned dancing to dance with the people in our party not flailing around like retards. The nerve.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago. Heh... yeah.

5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them soooooo much. Fortunately this story is just a little different. Instead of professing our love for everyone to their face, we just yell it at each other in the middle of a busy road. That's all.

6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "OH MY GOD! I love this song!!" Yup.

7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us. Check and double check, a.k.a. Matt and Josh.

8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it. Fortunately, I don't remember it the next day, so I don't know that I'm addicted. ;)

9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the alcohol. Fortunately, no yelling at this point in time, but it is amazing how sweet some drinks become over the course of an evening, e.g. Long Island Iced Teas turn into Sweet Tea around 3 a.m.

10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?) No, but there has been an occurrence of forgetting one was on someone else's couch and rolling off of said couch.

11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it. Thank God, not this one. But there is maybe the old, "we fail to notice our skirt is stuck in our tights." Hehehe.

12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault we're having problems walking straight. This pretty much wraps everything up in a complete package, lol.

I just realized that that e-mail has 12 things, and AA has 12 steps. I wonder what sort of correlation exists. Identities have been slightly modified to protect the at-one-time innocent.


Julie (It is.) said...

Here's the version that dad and I love:


James H. said...

Seriously just got busted while laughing at this in my office.

Too funny.